Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
