After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
