Dude my mom stole all your condoms
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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