Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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