You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
