i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
