I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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