just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
