WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize