careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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