Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
