Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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