is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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