you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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