I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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