he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just google imaged poop.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
