No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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