butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
