I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
