i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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