marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it's like iHOP with fire
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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