your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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