There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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