I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
