Porn is love you can see.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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