don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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