nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
