Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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