My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
