if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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