My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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