I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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