I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
