no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My feet surprised me
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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