Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Buhtt sex?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
