This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
