found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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