Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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