you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
