it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
