Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
