don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
