I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
