I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
