did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
