No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
