My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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