I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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