i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
