just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize