I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
soo... how was my night?
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