I intend to get homeless drunk
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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