Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i barfeds in our rink
Redeem this text for a blowjob
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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