Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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