she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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