just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
