You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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