lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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