you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
