All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
