and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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