I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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