i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
