I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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