if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
