Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
