Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
